I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
