my sisters under your porch take her home
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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