Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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