Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
