That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
