My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
