I want to make a zoo with you.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
