I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
