i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize