I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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