You made me cry and you don't even care
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
