Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
