all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
