Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
