college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
