YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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