Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
