Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
