listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
