She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize