After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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