Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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