i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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