What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
