she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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