I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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