oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
