Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
