Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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