something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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