it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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