think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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