You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
