Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
