I feel like abortions should bother me more
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
