Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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