Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
