in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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