If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
