I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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