I CAN MOONWALK!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
