I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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