You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
