I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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