Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
