you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
