the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
