So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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