I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize