is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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