I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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