vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
