Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm at about main and main street
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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