I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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