I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
