u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
