Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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