you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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