i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
