glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
