After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
