Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
