can we get nightvision for the apartment?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
