some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
