i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
