HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
