so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He's on the porch naked. Help.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize