The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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