I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
