and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
