real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
