yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
