i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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