Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
