ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
